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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: Barney who wrote (20059)8/7/2001 6:08:20 PM
From: sandintoes  Read Replies (1) of 62549
 
If this is a repeat, sorry, I didn't remember it.


THE PERKS OF BEING OVER FIFTY
1) Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2) In a hostage situation you are likely to be
released first.
3) No one expects you to run into a burning building.
4) People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
5) People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6) There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
7) Things you buy now won't wear out.
8) You can live without sex but not without glasses.
9) You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
10) You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
11) You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
12) You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
13) You quit trying to hold your stomach in,
no matter who walks into the room.
14) You sing along with the elevator music.
15) Your eyes won't get much worse.
16) Your investment in health insurance is finally
beginning to pay off, and that bundle you've spent
on life insurance is starting to look smart, too.
17) Your joints are more accurate meteorologists
than the guys with the Live Doppler 10,000.
18) Your secrets are safe with your friends
because they can't remember them either.
19) Your supply of brain cells is finally down
to a manageable size.
20) A thirty year mortgage sounds like a pretty clever scam.
21) You won't remember who sent you this list.
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