Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke Message Board

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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke

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To: Neeka who wrote (20259)	8/23/2001 1:00:29 AM
From: Karen Lawrence	Read Replies (1) of 62558

some of these are new to me: Three weeks ago, she learned how to drive. Last week she learned how to aim it. How, if they can't see their reflections, do vampires always get their hair so nice? My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator. Sign in a men's room: "This is not urinal, it's ourinal, so please flush." For those of you who've never been to Las Vegas, there the "G string" is known as the gownless evening strap. Hollywood's a town where they shoot entirely too many movies and not enough actors. I accept good advice gracefully -- as long as it doesn't interfere with what I intended to do in the first place. A lawyer is an expert on justice in much the same way your average hooker is an expert on love. Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be. When my kids were teens, it never bothered me how much they knew. I always worried more about how they found out. O.J. Simpson is reportedly considering remarrying. "Or, as he put it, 'I'm ready to take another stab at it.'" A man who says marriage is a 50%-50% proposition doesn't understand two things: 1 - Women, 2 - Fractions. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose- fitting clothing. If I had any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place! My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried. I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week. Jazz is what you get when you push a blues quartet down a long flight of stairs. The Yuppette was considering the proposal of marriage she had just received: "Let me hear that part again where you realize you're not half good enough for me." A computer does save time at work. Now I can play solitaire without having to spend all that time shuffling real cards. As he listened to the troubled young lady lying on the couch, the psychiatrist realized with a start that he had the same urge she did -- to tear all her clothes off.

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