> The Washington Post published a contest for readers
> in which they were asked to supply alternate meanings
> for various words.
>
> The following were some of the winning entries:
>
> Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
>
> Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight
> you have gained.
>
> Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a
> flat stomach.
>
> Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
>
> Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
>
> Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you
> absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
>
> Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
>
> Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
>
> Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you
> up after you are run over by a steamroller.
>
> Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
>
> Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
>
> Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a
> proctologist immediately before he examines you.
>
> Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with
> Yiddish expressions.
>
> Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
>
> Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die,
> your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
>
> Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
> |
