While we're into repeats, at least these haven't been posted 3 times in the last month... ;^)
++++++++++++
Rewritten Nursery Rhymes
Jack and Jill Went up the hill
To have a little fun
Stupid Jill Forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead
Now it goes to school with her
Between two hunks of bread
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider that crept up beside her
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.
Simple Simon met a Pie man
Going to the fair
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man "What have you got there?"
Said the Pie man unto Simon
"Pies, you dipshit!"
There was a little girl,
who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead
And when she was good,
she was very, very good
But when she was bad
she got a fur coat, jewels, a sports car......
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
all the kings horses and all the kings men
had scrambled eggs on toast for breakfast
Hickory dickory dock,
Three mice ran up the clock
the clock struck one,
and the others got away with minor injuries
Hey diddle, diddle,
the cat did a piddle,
all over the bedside clock,
The little dog laughed
to see such fun
And the cat died of electric shock.
Mary had a little lamb,
It walked into a pylon,
10,000 volts went up it's ass,
And turned it's wool to nylon.
Georgie Porgy Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay |
