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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: Doug Coughlan who wrote (23710)5/30/2002 7:53:30 AM
From: MrsNose  Read Replies (2) of 62541
 
Signs of Individuality
-----------------------
When Dilbert takes over the world, the first thing he'll
do is make it illegal for Individuals to make signs.
Until then, enjoy these sightings.
---
Two adjacent businesses near our house had their
signs arranged in an unfortunate way:
"Woodlawn Cemetery" "Self-storage"
---
Our local teriyaki joint had a great lunch special
the other day: "$3.99 Chicken Bowel!"
---
Outside of Mitchell, South Dakota, there was a
billboard advertising a garage with "24-hour Toe Service"
I always thought it was nice that in a small town like
Mitchell, you could get a pedicure any time, day or night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
True Quotes From Individuals
-----------------------------
Here are more true quotes submitted by DNRC
members. Most of these are from managers.
As you will see, Individuals continue to be confused
by critters, nature and body parts.
---
"She's not the brightest tree in the forest."
---
"We've got lower-hanging fish to fry."
---
"We've got to nix this thing in the bud."
---
During a recent sales meeting, our pointy-haired
sales director told us that we were on track
to achieving our sales goals and we could
almost see "...the light at the end of the rainbow."
I almost shot coffee out my nose.
---
"If you can't get those parts in time, that'll really
put a wrinkle in your feather."
---
"'Usually' only counts in horseshoes."
---
"You're trying to move a mountain with a molehill."
---
"Too many cooks in the pot."
---
"I wouldn't trust them with a nine foot pole."
---
"I'm going to sweep this mess under the floor."
---
"You're getting too clever for your own boots!"
---
"Then I figured that something was rotten in Denver."
---
My supervisor stated that another manager
had him in her "shorthairs."
---
"Open your mouth and shut your ears when
I'm talking to you."
---
"He couldn't find his way out of a paper
bag if it bit him."
---
"They dropped the apple cart, now it's up
to us to get it back on the tracks."
---
"That didn't work out, so I guess we're just AOL.
" (America On Line or AWOL - Absent Without Leave)
---
"We'll be done by the schedule date, maybe later."
---
"He turned beet white."
---
"We are going to have to put all our oars in the
fire for this project."
---
"You know...you can't skin two cats with one bird..."
---
"Our unemployed are working fewer and fewer hours!"
---
"That really throws a monkey at the wrench..."
---
"Let's get right down to the gnat's meow."
----
If at first you don't succeed
you are about to get a lot of advice.
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