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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke

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To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (24362)	8/10/2002 7:41:52 PM
From: John Carragher	Read Replies (1) of 62551

INVESTMENT VOCABULARY EBITDA: Earnings Before I Tricked Damned Auditor EBIT: Earnings Before Irregularities & Tampering CEO: Chief Embezzlement Officer CFO: Corporate Fraud Officer NAV: Normal Anderson Valuation FRS: Fantasy Reporting Standards P/E: Parole Entitlement EPS: Eventual Prison Sentence Bull Market: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. Bear Market: A 6 - 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex. Momentum Investing: The fine art of buying high and selling low. Value Investing:The are of buying low and selling lower. P/E Ratio:The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing. Broker:What my broker has made me. "BUY-BUY": A flight attendant making market recommendations as you step off the airplane. Standard & Poor: My life in a nutshell. Stock Analyst:Idiot who just downgraded your stock. Stock Split:When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves. Financial Planner: A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes. Market Correction:The day after you buy stocks. Cash Flow:The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet. Yahoo:What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240.per share. Windows 2000:What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought Yahoo at $240./share. Institutional Investor:Past year investor who's now locked up in a nut house. Profit:Religious guy who talks to God.

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