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Pastimes : The Death of Silicon Investor
INSP 80.77-16.1%Jan 22 3:59 PM EST

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To: E. Charters who wrote (839)9/28/2002 3:45:35 PM
From: Toby Zidle  Read Replies (1) of 1003
 
That will stop the WTC sort of thingie. New challenges to Arab terrorists. Find people without criminal records to come to the states to die in horrific conflagrations. Can't do it. Why? They are afraid they might be fingerprinted.

You're WAY behind in strategic thinking, EC. El Key de West (the new high-powered terrorist organization formed by the merger of Islamic fundamentalist extremists and underground Cuban tobacco farmers) have got this fingerprint thing figured out.

The new strategy is to overwhelm the fingerprinters at US points of entry. Terrorist funding will pay for the entire nation of India to emigrate to the US on tourist visas to visit the Grand Canyon. They figure they can move 6 million Indians a day into the US and sustain that rate for a full two months. Further, each visitor will be supplied documentation to collect unemployment while in the US. Since each check will be for the equivalence of 1.6 years of labor back home, there shall be no shortage of Indian volunteers.

Ashcroft is, of course, always a step ahead. There will be no long lines waiting to get their fingers dirty in ink. Project Titannic will cut off this iceberg at its tip. In this case, the fingertips of all incoming vistors will be removed for later processing. The backlog should be no more than eight months, after which the fingertips will be returned to the visitors along with a tube of epoxy superglue and instructions on how to reattach the tips.

All government programs have unintended side effects. Here, the terrorist organization will be reimbursed expenses directly by the US federal government. The entire membership of Cuban underground will have relocated to the US and filed for massive federal aid for not growing tobacco in the US. The billions they get will be buying airline tickets for Indians.

No fraud involved for the SEC to investigate. Cuban underground tobacco farmers are very experienced in their inability to grow tobacco underground in Cuba.
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