A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened
his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir,
I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but
couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do
these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're
dead."
The cop got out of his car and the kid, who was stopped for speeding,
rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop
said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
without a ticket.
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead
of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for
miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car
and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and
says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering
this bridge and ran out of gas."
The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb
and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take
you in, sir. You're obviously drunk." The wasted wino asked, "Ociffer,
are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the
copper. "Let's go." Obviously relieved, the wino said "That's a relief -
I thought I was a cripple." |
