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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke

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To: BKS who started this subject	12/25/2002 12:30:31 PM
From: calgal	Read Replies (1) of 62569

URL:http://www.newsmax.com/liners.shtml Late Night Joke Archives Monday Night December 23 (all shows are reruns) Letterman New York City is in a fiscal crisis. Money is tight here. This is how bad it is – I was out walking through Central Park on my lunch break and I saw a squirrel marking down its nuts. We also have a noise problem here in the city. There’s cars, and sirens and people screaming bloody murder. Mayor Bloomberg sat down this week and came up with a solution – silencers. That should work. Friday Night December 20 Leno What a rainstorm last night! The flooding was so bad I saw Whitney Houston using a rolled-up dollar bill as a snorkel. Trent Lott has stepped down as Senate majority leader, so Kev, Happy Kwanzaa. It looks like the guy likely to replace Lott is Tennessee Senator Bill Frist, who was a heart transplant surgeon before he came to the Senate. Being a heart surgeon, he knew exactly where to plunge the dagger. Today President Bush signed papers giving federal employees a full day's pay for half a day's work on Christmas Eve and he figures why should Christmas Eve be different than any other day in the federal government? I'm looking at the list for all these hot toys for Christmas and there's this new one called "McDonald's Fun Time Barbie." It's Barbie but she's now wearing a McDonald's uniform like she works there now. Apparently, that astronaut and lawyer thing didn't work out too well. Letterman It's cold here in New York City. But it's supposed to be cold this time of the year. Here's an idea of how cold it's been – it's been so cold that Michael Jackson has been dangling his kids indoors. Today is December 20, which means it's the last day to get your mail to the post office if you want them to lose your packages by Christmas. The annual Letterman Christmas party is coming up. People ask me what that is like. Well, it's sort of like a Taliban prison riot. I'm glad you're all here tonight. Last night we had a rough audience. Halfway through the show they demanded an apology from Trent Lott. Are you like me and just glad that Strom Thurmond isn't alive to see all this?

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