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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: Ian@SI who wrote (26140)1/9/2003 10:40:52 PM
From: Ron   of 62558
 
Some Things to Ponder this New Year
>
> 1. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day;
> teach that person to use the Internet and they won't
> bother you for weeks.
>
> 2. Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good
> for anything, but you still can't help but smile when
> you see one tumble down the >stairs.
>
> 3. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction.
> I get to the end and think, "Well, that's not going to
> happen."
>
> 4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying
> in hospitals dying of nothing.
>
> 5. The other night I ate at a real family restaurant.
> Every table had an argument going on.
>
> 6. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder
> these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they
> used to?
>
> 7. According to a recent survey, men say the first
> thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and
> women say the first thing they notice about men is
> they're a bunch of liars.
>
> 8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
>
> 9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It
> pays no attention to criticism.
>
> 10. Have you noticed that a slight tax increase costs
> you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut
> saves you thirty cents?
>
> 11. In the 60's people took acid to make the world
> weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac
> to make it normal.
>
> 12. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest
> profession. I have come to realize that it bears a
> very close resemblance to the first.
>
> 13. There is a theory which states that if ever
> anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and
> why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be
> replaced by something even more bizarre and
> inexplicable. There is another theory which states
> that this has already happened.
>
> 14. How is it one careless match can start a forest
> fire, but it takes a whole box of matches to start a
> campfire?
>
> 15. You read about all these terrorists--most of them
> came here legally, but they hung around on these
> expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now,
> compare that to Blockbuster; you're two days late with
> a video and those people are all over you. Let's put
> Blockbuster in charge of immigration.
>
>
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