IRAQ BROADCASTS HALF-EATEN SANDWICH TO PROVE SADDAM IS STILL ALIVE
But Former Mistress Doubts It Is Saddam’s Lunch
In an effort to convince the people of Iraq that President Saddam Hussein is still alive, Iraqi TV today broadcast pictures of a half-eaten sandwich purported to be the lunch of the Iraqi strongman.
The sandwich, which appeared to be a cheese sandwich, had been served on a gold plate on the ornate table of what appeared to be one of Saddam’s Presidential Palaces, along with a side of cole slaw.
While Saddam himself made no appearance in the twelve-minute video of the sandwich, Iraq’s Deputy Prime Minister Tariq Aziz appeared briefly, saying, “Where did Saddam go? He was here just a minute ago – eating this sandwich, in fact.”
At the CIA, officials were studying the footage of the sandwich to try to determine when the sandwich had been served and if in fact it had been partially eaten by Saddam.
But their task was made more difficult by the fact that the Iraqi dictator routinely has as many as a dozen look-alike sandwiches prepared at lunchtime to be eaten by a dozen of his look-alikes.
On CNN, former Saddam mistress Parisoula Lampsos told host Larry King that she doubted the half-eaten sandwich was authentic, saying, “In all the time I was with Saddam, he never left a sandwich half-eaten – he was always looking over at my sandwich and going, ‘You gonna finish that?’”
When asked if she thought Saddam Hussein was dead or alive, Ms. Lampsos replied, “Even when I was with him it was hard to tell.”
The Borowitz Report |
