Saving a Bear
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the
students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get
together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really
that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to
another, and they decided to do a seven-day experiment. They would all go
out into the woods, find a bear and preach to it.
Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience. Father
O'Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various
bandages, goes first.
"Wellll," he says, in a fine Irish brogue, "Ey wint oot into th' wooods to
fynd me a bearr. Oond when Ey fund him Ey began to rread to him from the
Baltimorre Catechism. Welll, thet bearr wanted naught to do wi' me und
begun to slap me aboot. So I quick grrabbed me holy water and, THE SAINTS
BE PRAISED, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is cooming oot next
wik to give him fierst communion und confierrmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both
legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he
proclaimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle...WE DUNK! I
went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to him from God's
HOOOOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. I SAY NO! He
wanted NOTHING to do with me. So I took HOOOLD of him and we began to
rassle. We rassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we come
to a crick. So I quick DUNK him and BAPTIZE his hairy soul. An' jus like
you sez, he wuz gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week in
fellowship, feasting on God's HOOOOLY word."
They both look down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was
in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of
him. The rabbi looks up and says, "Oy! You don't know what tough is until
you try to circumcise one of those creatures." |
