Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.
One lady turns and asks, "Do you still get horny?"
The other replies, "Oh sure I do."
The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?"
The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver."
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the
beach?"
An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat
on tightly so that it would not blow off in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to
be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high
wind?" "Yes, I know." said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto this
hat."
"But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!"said the
gentleman in earnest. The woman looked down, then back up at the man and
replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought
this hat yesterday"
Ethel and Mabel, two elderly widows, were watching the folks go by from
their park bench. Ethel said, "You know, Mabel, I've been reading this
'Sex
and Marriage'book and all they talk about is 'mutual orgasm'. 'Mutual
orgasm' here and mutual orgasm' there - that's all they talk about. Tell
me, Mabel, when your husband was alive, did you two ever have mutual
orgasm?" Mabel thought for a long while. Finally, she shook her head and
said, "No, I think we had State Farm."
Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home
reminiscing. The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and
demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she
could buy for a penny. The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used
to be much bigger and cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big
onions she could buy for a penny a piece. The third old lady remarked, "I
can't hear a word you're saying, but I remember the guy you're talking
about." |
