Idiots of 2002, Number One,
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation
in toxicology at the
poison control center. Today, this woman called
in very upset because
she caught her little daughter eating ants. I
quickly reassured her that the
ants are not harmful and there would be no need to
bring her daughter
into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end
of the conversation
happened to mention that she gave her daughter
some ant poison to eat in order to kill
the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into
the emergency room right away.
Number Two, Idiots of 2002
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the
airfield decided to
steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were
successful in getting it out
of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it
for a float on the river,
they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming
towards them. It turned
out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency
locator beacon that
activated when the raft was inflated. They are no
longer employed at
Boeing.
Number Three, Idiots of 2002
A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting
to rob a downtown
Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote
"this iz a stikkup. Put all
your muny in this bag."
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to
the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen
him write the note and might call the police before
he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of
America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After!
waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to
the Wells Fargo teller.
She read it and, surmising from his spelling
errors that he wasn't the
brightest light in the harbor, told him that she
could not accept his
stickup note because it was written on a Bank of
America deposit slip
and that he would either have to fill out a Wells
Fargo deposit slip or go
back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and
left. He was
arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in
line back at Bank of America.
Number four, Idiots of 2002
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated
speed trap that
measured his speed using radar and photographed
his car. He later received in
the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car.
Instead of payment, he
sent the police! department a photograph of $40.
Several days later, he
received a letter from the police that contained
another picture, this time of
handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
Number Five, Idiots of 2002
A guy walked into a little corner store with a
shotgun and demanded all
of the cash from the cash drawer. After the
cashier put the cash in a bag,
the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted
behind the counter on the
shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag
as well, but the cashier
refused and said, "Because I don't believe you
are over 21."
The robber said he was, but the clerk still
refused to give it to him
because he didn't believe him. At this point, the
robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and
gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and
agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he
put the Scotch in the
bag.
The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly
called the police and gave the name and address
of the robber that he
got off the license. They arrested the robber two
hours later.
Number Six, Idiots of 2002
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop
nervously waving
revolvers.
The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his
partner moved, the
startled first bandit shot him.
Number Seven, Idiots of 2002
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty
badly. He decided that
he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor
store window, grab some
booze, and run.
So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over
his head at the
window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the
would-be thief on the
head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the
liquor store window was
made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught
on videotape.
Number Eight, Idiots of 2002
Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column
reported that a man walked
into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at
12:50 A. M., flashed a gun and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because
he said he couldn't
open the cash register without a food order. When
the man ordered onion
rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
breakfast. The man,
frustrated, walked away.
Please note that all of the above people are
allowed to vote. |
