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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke

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To: Karen Lawrence who wrote (28503)7/5/2003 12:10:13 PM
From: The Philosopher  Read Replies (1) of 62558
 
And let's not have any of that nonsense of people looking these up on Snopes. This is a JOKE thread, folks.

OJ:

"Woman Chops Off Sleeping Husband's Penis. Drops It From A Moving Car"
Don't laugh, it's true and it could happen to you. Right now thousands of agitated, irate
women have read this headline and are contemplating similar action against you the next
time you make an unwanted sexual advance, look at them the wrong way, or just piss
them off.

If you've found yourself a victim of CDS (Chop and Drop Syndrome), could you be
sure the appropriate authorities would find your chopped member in time and intact?
Could you be sure the penis part they found was yours?

Now, through this exclusive offer, you can protect yourself with our low cost penis
protection plan.

Plan 1. We'll register your penis and scrotum and tattoo them with their own unique
registration number, insuring that, in case of separation, you'll get a perfect match every
time.

Plan 2. Our Jurassic Prick Program: We'll take a cell sample from your dick and prepare
clone replacement parts for you in the event a tractor-trailer runs over your family pride,
or some wild animal mistakes your detached member for a chew toy.

Plan 3. For those who believe in prevention, we offer a one-size-fits-all, battery
operated, stainless steel jockstrap. When you're asleep, an alarm will be activated when
metal or other
hazardous objects come within one foot of the penis protector. This will guarantee you a
full night's sleep, free of worry and anxiety.

Don't get caught short...Call 1-800-SAVE-A-DICK. Remember...the organ you save
may be your own! (Prices vary according to size.)
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