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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: Guardian who wrote (29510)10/12/2003 4:43:01 PM
From: Barney  Read Replies (1) of 62549
 
You Know You're In Trouble When...

-- A copy of your birth certificate comes in the mail marked null and void.

-- The candles on your cake set off your smoke alarm.

-- The little league puts you on waivers.

-- You see the captain running toward the railing wearing a life jacket.

-- You take an assertiveness training course and you're afraid to tell your wife.

-- Your accountant's letter of resignation is postmarked "Zurich".

-- Your pacemaker has only a thirty day guarantee.

-- Your secretary tells you the FBI is on line 1, the DA is on line 2, and CBS is on line 3.

-- A black cat crosses you path and drops dead.

-- Getting there is half the fun and three-fourths of the vacation budget.

-- People send your wife sympathy cards on your anniversary.

-- The pest exterminator crawls under your house and never comes out.

-- The plumber floats by on your kitchen table.

-- There are two elephants, two giraffes, and two zebras in your yard and your next door neighbor is building an arc.

-- They pay your wages out of petty cash.

-- You have to hitch hike to the bank to make your car payment.

-- You make more than you ever made, owe more than you ever owed, and have less than you've ever had.
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