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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: Barney who wrote (29786)11/12/2003 1:56:56 PM
From: Guardian  Read Replies (1) of 62558
 
WILL ROGERS' WISDOM

Will Rogers, who died in a plane crash with Wylie Post
in 1935, was probably the greatest political sage this
country has ever known. Enjoy the following:

1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a
woman...neither works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold
it and put it back in your pocket.
8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that
learn by reading. The few who learn by observation.
The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence
and find out for themselves.
9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of
that comes from bad judgment.
10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every
now and then to make sure it's still there.
11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin'
it back.
12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he
started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and
shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth
shut.

ABOUT GROWING OLDER...

First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about
your age and start bragging about it.
Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in
line for.
Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I
want
people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and
some of the roads weren't paved.
Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to
youth,
think of Algebra.
Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries
up
or
leaks.
Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the
top.
Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is
that
it is such a nice change from being young.
Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day
has
been.
Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
Tenth ~ Long ago when men cursed and beat the
ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called
golf.

And finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have
anything to laugh at when you are old.
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