KT, This may be a little raunchy, but an open mind will appreciate the humor.
Santa is Quitting His Job
'Twas the night before Christmas old Santa was pissed
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!
I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady bitches because I work late at night
the elves want more money--the reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And, just when I thought that things would get better
those a**holes from the IRS sent me a letter.
They say I owe taxes--If that ain't damn funny.
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?
And the kids these days, they are all the pits.
They want the impossible, those mean little s***s.
I spent a whole year making wagons, and sleds,
assembling dolls, their arms, legs, and heads.
I made a ton of yoyo's--NO request for them,
but they want computers and robots.
They think I'm IBM!
Flying through the air--dodging the trees,
falling down chimneys, and skinning my knees.
I'm quitting this job, there's just no enjoyment.
I'll sit on my fat ass, and draw unemployment.
So there's no Christmas this year, and now you know the reason.
I've found me a honey, and I'm going South for the season!
Happy Holidays to all... |
