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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: Jackie East who wrote (3269)9/17/1997 1:37:00 PM
From: Bob Bryenton   of 62581
 
If Microsoft were in Alabama
Compiled by Thom Monticue

Due to an unfriendly business atmosphere in California, many businesses there have been relocating to places like Atlanta and Montgomery. Imagine the implications!

If Microsoft headquarters were in Alabama

1. Their #1 product would be "Microsoft Winders"

2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle

3. Occasionally you'd bring up a winder that was covered with a
Hefty bag and some duct tape.

4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-right", "Naw",
or "Git", instead of "Yes", "No", or "Cancel."

5. Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling
Banjos.

6. The "Recycle Bin" in Winders 95 would be an outhouse.

7. Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized drunk redneck yelling "Freebird!"

8. Instead of "Start Me Up," the Winders 95 theme song would be
"Achey-Breaky Heart."

9. PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt."

10. Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vishul Basic" and
"Vishul C++."

11. Winders 95 logo should incorporate the Confederate Flag.

12. Instead of "VP," Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz."

13. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am.

14. Four words: Daisy Dukes screen saver.

15. "Well, the first thing you know ole Bill's a billionaire..."

16. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor-Pull Simulator.

17. Microsoft CEO: Billy-Bob (a.k.a. "Bubba") Gates.
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