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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke

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From: Doug Coughlan3/4/2006 9:42:47 AM
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Headlines from the year 2029:


Ozone created by electric cars now killing
millions in the seventh largest country in the
world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.
White minorities still trying to have English
recognized as Mexifornia's third language.


Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United
States crops and livestock.


Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.


Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.


Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the
AmericanTerritory of the Middle East (formerly known
as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).


Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will
take at least 10 more years before radioactivity
decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken
over by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can
now be imported legally, but President Chelsea
Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp
to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays
only.

85-years, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise
is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.


Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals
violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven
inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers,
screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers
must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly
illegal political contributions to campaign
accounts.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting
machines.
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