Jokes for Men
What's the definition of a perfect woman?
a) Three feet tall with a round hole for a mouth and a flat head so that you can
put a pint of beer on it.
b) The sports model has pullback ears and her teeth fold in.
c) The economy model fucks all night and, at midnight, turns into a roast beef
sandwich and a six pack.
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What do you do if your dishwasher stops working? Slap the bitch.
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"What would you do if I died?"
Correct answer: "Dearest love, in the event of your untimely demise, life would
cease to have meaning for me and I would perforce hurl myself under the front
tires of the first Domino's Pizza truck that came my way." This might be the
stupidest question of the lot, as is illustrated by the following stupid joke:
"Dear," said the wife. "What would you do if I died?"
"Why, dear, I would be extremely upset," said the husband. "Why do you ask such a question?"
"Would you remarry?" persevered the wife.
"No, of couse not, dear" said the husband.
"Don't you like being married?" said the wife.
"Of course I do, dear" he said.
"Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
"Alright," said the husband, "I'd remarry."
"You would?" said the wife, looking vaguely hurt.
"Yes" said the husband.
"Would you sleep with her in our bed?" said the wife after a long pause.
"Well yes, I suppose I would." replied the husband.
"I see," said the wife indignantly."And would you let her wear my old clothes?
"I suppose, if she wanted to" said the husband.
"Really," said the wife icily. "And would you take down the pictures of me and replace them with pictures of her?"
"Yes. I think that would be the correct thing to do.""Is that so?" said the wife, leaping to her feet.
"And I suppose you'd let her play with my golf clubs, too." "Of course not, dear," said the husband. "She's left-handed." |
