Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke Message Board

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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke

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To: Carol who wrote (3308)	9/21/1997 2:53:00 AM
From: B. Thomson	of 62568

BLONDE JOKES Why do blondes not like to make Kool-Aid? They can't fit 2 quarts of water in that little packet. What do blondes and cow pies have in common? The older they are the easier they are to pick-up. What's the mating call of a blonde? I'm soooooooo drunk! What's a brunettes mating call? Is that blonde bitch gone yet! Why does a blonde have T.G.I.F. written in her shoes? Toes Go In First. Why do blondes wash their hair in the kitchen sink? That's where you wash your vegetables. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They're both empty from the neck up. What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back. How do you get a blondes eyes to light up? Shine a flashlight in her ear. What's the advantage to being married to a blonde? You get to park in the handicapped zones. What do you call a brunette between two blondes? An interpreter. If a blonde and a brunette both jumped of a building at the same time, who would land first? The brunette...the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions. Two blondes were walking along and came to some tracks. One blonde said, "These look like deer tracks," and the other said, "No, they look like moose tracks." They where still arguing when the train hit them. What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Spot. How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies? Five, one to stir the batter and four to peel the M&M's How do you keep a blonde secretary busy? Give her a bag full of M&M's and tell her to file them alphabetically. Why aren't blondes allowed to take breaks at work? They have to be retrained. Why don't blondes like vibrators? They're afraid it might chip their teeth. What do you call 12 blondes holding hands in a circle? A dope ring! What do you call a group of blondes in a circle with their heads together? A wind tunnel. Why can't you teach a blonde how to drive? Because every time you put the car in park, she jumps in the backseat. Why did the man trade his blonde wife in for an outhouse? Because the hole was smaller and the smell better. What does a blonde say after having sex? Are all you guys on the same team? What's the first thing a blonde does when she gets up in the morning? Goes home. What is a blondes favorite nursery rhyme? "Hump Me, Dump Me" What do you call two blondes, naked, standing on their heads? Two brunettes. How does a blonde turn on the light after having sex? Opens the car door. Why did the blonde climb the glass wall? To see what was on the other side. What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? Last years "hide-and-seek" winner. Why did the blond have a sore belly button? Her boyfriend was also blonde. What's the difference between a blond and a brick? When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around. What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking. What does a blonde an a computer have in common? You never appreciate either one until they go down on you. How do you change a blondes mind? Blow in her ear. What do you call a blond with a dollar on her head? All you can eat under a buck. What is the similarity between a smart blond, Santa and the tooth fairy? They are all make believe. Why did the blond climb on the roof? She heard that drinks were on the house. What does a blonde say when you asked her what the last two words of the national anthem are? Play ball. How do you tell when a blonde is having a bad day? There is a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil. What do you call a blond with a half brain? Gifted. How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One... blondes will screw anything. What is the difference between blondes and government bonds? Bonds mature. How do you tell if a blonde is sexually satisfied? Who cares. Why do blondes rub their eyes when they wake up? They don't have balls to scratch. How are blondes and parking spaces alike? All the good ones are taken and the ones that are left are handicapped. What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? You can only put three fingers in a bowling ball. How is a blonde different than a 747? Not everyone has been in a 747. How are a blondes like spaghetti? They squirm when you eat them. What do you call ten blondes at the bottom of a pool? An air bubble. What do you call 10 blondes in a row? A wind tunnel. How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool. Why is a blondes brain pea sized in the morning? It swelled. What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair? Artificial intelligence. What do a blonde and a screen door have in common? The more you bang them the looser they get. Did you hear about the blonde who broke her arm? She was raking leaves when she fell out of the tree. What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant. Why did the blonde get fired from the "M & M" factory? She threw out all the ones with "W's". What can strike a blonde without them even knowing it? A thought. Why do blondes wear green lipstick? Red means stop. What is the difference between a blonde and a trampoline? You take your shoe's off before you get on a trampoline. A dumb blonde a smart blonde and Santa Claus jump off of a bridge, who makes the bigger splash? The dumb blonde because the others don't exist. What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal? One's a busy ditch.

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