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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: J.B.C. who wrote (35793)5/12/2006 9:40:53 AM
From: Peter Dierks  Read Replies (1) of 62548
 
NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND---The Football Version

1. All teams must make the state playoffs and all MUST win the
championship. If a team does not win the championship, they will
be on probation until they are the champions, and coaches will be
held accountable. If after two years they have not won the
championship their footballs and equipment will be taken away
UNTIL they do win the championship.

2. All kids will be expected to have the same football skills at the
same time even if they do not have the same conditions or
opportunities to practice on their own. NO exceptions will be made
for lack of interest in football, a desire to perform athletically,
or genetic abilities or disabilities of themselves or their parents.
ALL KIDS WILL PLAY FOOTBALL AT A PROFICIENT LEVEL!

3. Talented players will be asked to workout on their own, without
instruction. This is because the coaches will be using all
their instructional time with the athletes who aren't interested in
football, have limited athletic ability or whose parents don't like
football.

4. Games will be played year round, but statistics will only be kept
in the 4th, 8th, and 11th game.
It will create a New Age of Sports where every school is expected to
have the same level of talent and all teams will reach the same
minimum goals. If no child gets ahead, then no child gets left behind.
If parents do not like this new law, they are encouraged to vote for
vouchers and support private schools that can screen out the non-
athletes and prevent their children from having to go to school with
bad football players.
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