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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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From: Doug Coughlan2/16/2007 12:40:52 PM
  Read Replies (3) of 62581
 
You probably have to be from the NYC metropolitan area to appreciate this one:

THERE IS NO NORTH AND SOUTH. IT'S "UPTOWN" OR "DOWNTOWN." IF YOU'RE
REALLY FROM NEW YORK YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CONCEPT OF WHERE NORTH AND
SOUTH ARE.... AND EAST OR WEST IS "CROSS-TOWN."
YOU'RE 35 YEARS OLD AND DON'T HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE.

YOU RIDE IN A SUBWAY CAR WITH NO AIR CONDITIONING JUST BECAUSE THERE ARE
SEATS AVAILABLE.

YOU TAKE THE TRAIN HOME AND YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHERE ON THE PLATFORM THE
DOORS WILL OPEN THAT WILL LEAVE YOU RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE EXIT STAIRWAY.

YOU KNOW WHAT A "REGULAR" COFFEE IS.

IT'S NOT MANHATTAN ; IT'S THE "CITY."

YOU CROSS THE STREET ANYWHERE BUT ON THE CORNERS AND YOU YELL AT CARS
FOR NOT RESPECTING YOUR RIGHT TO DO IT.
YOU MOVE 3,000 MILES A WAY , SPEND 10 YEARS LEARNING THE LOCAL LANGUAGE
AND PEOPLE STILL KNOW YOU'RE FROM BROOKLYN OR THE BRONX THE MINUTE YOU
OPEN YOUR MOUTH.
YOU RETURN AFTER 10 YEARS AND THE FIRST FOODS YOU WANT ARE A "REAL"
PIZZA AND A "REAL" BAGEL.
A 500 SQUARE FOOT APARTMENT IS LARGE.
YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN ALL THE DIFFERENT RAY'S PIZZAS.

YOU ARE NOT UNDER THE MISTAKEN IMPRESSION THAT ANY HUMAN BEING WOULD BE
ABLE TO ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND A P.A. ANNOUNCEMENT ON THE SUBWAY.
YOU WOULDN'T BOTHER ORDERING PIZZA IN ANY OTHER CITY..

YOU GET READY TO ORDER DINNER EVERY NIGHT AND MUST CHOOSE FROM THE MAJOR
FOOD GROUPS WHICH ARE: CHINESE, ITALIAN, MEXICAN OR INDIAN.

YOU'RE NOT THE LEAST BIT INTERESTED IN GOING TO TIMES SQUARE ON NEW
YEAR'S EVE. < BR
YOUR INTERNAL CLOCK IS PERMANENTLY SET TO KNOW WHEN ALTERNATE SIDE OF
THE STREET PARKING REGULATIONS ARE IN EFFECT.

YOU KNOW WHAT A BODEGA IS.

SOMEONE BUMPS INTO YOU, AND YOU CHECK FOR YOUR WALLET.

YOU DON'T EVEN NOTICE THE LADY WALKING DOWN THE ROAD HAVING A PERFECTLY
NORMAL CONVERSATION WITH HERSELF.
YOU PAY "ONLY" $230 A MONTH TO PARK YOUR CAR.

YOU CRINGE AT HEARING PEOPLE PRONOUNCE HOUSTON ST .
LIKE THE CITY IN TEXAS .

THE PRESIDENTIAL VISIT IS A MAJOR TRAFFIC JAM, NOT AN HONOR.

YOU CAN NAP ON THE SUBWAY AND NEVER MISS YOUR STOP.

THE DELI GUY GIVES YOU A STRAW WITH ANY BEVERAGE YOU BUY, EVEN IF IT'S A
BEER.

THAT'S NEW YORK , BABY! YA GOTTA LOVE IT.
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