Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke Message Board

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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke

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To: Rich Dee who wrote (3380)	10/2/1997 4:04:00 PM
From: DirkZ	of 62562

Cumpleet Redneck Cumputer Meenins MOUSE: fuzzy white thing wut eats the horses grain in the barn and ya can stuff in your beer bottle to get a free case UPGRADE: skule term fur permoshun as upgrade to secund after jus two yeers in furst 2. when teechur changes F ta D BROWSER: fella reedin PLAYBOY in the drug stor SERVER: gal in resterant that brings yur food WEBSITE: ware spiders catch flies CACHE: needed when ya run out of food stamps PRINTER: someone who can't rite in handritin FONT: discover as in "I font it at a garage sale" PROGRAM: wuts on the TV when there's receptshun PROGRAMMER: fella with the TV remote MODEM : whacha do to the grass twice a yeer ADOBE PHOTOSHOP: red bilding ware you git yur pictur took PLUG-IN: push the end ot the TV cord into the wall RAM: that thar thing whut splits the farwood. 2. the lambs daddy ROM: good to mix with Coca Cola. 2. the Pope's home. 3. a place in the house like a bedrom FLOPPY: when you run outa Polygrip ICON : braggin as in "icon lift yur truk with one arm" CD ROM : place in the bank ware they sell retirement accounts SPAM: meat for special occashuns HARD DRIVE : gettin home in the mud season with a flat tire INSTALL: ware ya keep your horse REBOOT: wucha do when the first pair gets covered with barnyard stuff CURSOR : wucha do when yur mad at yur wife BIT; a wager as in "I bit ya can't spit that chawin tibacco across the road " FIREWALL: ware ya practises yur target shutin HACKER : granpa after 62 years of smokin TERMINAL: about time to call the undertaker MAIN FRAME: wut holds up the barn roof SOFTWARE: them plastic eatin utensils BUG: thing on phone to check yur wife's calls DIGITAL CONTROL: wut yur fingers do on the TV remote SUPERCONDUCTORS: Glenn Miller, Doc Severnsen, Lawrence Welk EDIT: wucha do with food LAPTOP: ware the littl kids feel comfy PORT: fancy wine PRINTOUT; wen ya uz a eracer or whiteout FORMAT: small rug to wipe your feet on wen ya go in a house CODE: wen yu g0tta snooty nose and cof VIRUS: same as a code RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: when ya cain't 'member wut ya paid fer yer rifle when yer wife asks PROMPT : wucha wish the mail was in mud season FAX : wucha lie about to the IRS FAQ: with U wut you yell when someone cuts yu off BACKUP: takin the truk outa the barn BYTE : wut them dang flys do. 2. first word in a kiss-off phrase MEGABYTE: wucha git from Meg durin luvmakin SCREEN : thing to keep the flies out CHIP : munchies fer the TV MICROCHIP: wuts left in the munchie bag when the chips are gone RELOAD: fill the frig with 6-pacs and chips HOMEPAGE: place in the newspaper with houses for sale TEXT: dude from Dallas DISKETTE: female disco dancer SCANNER : watchin a female disco dancer INFRARED: ware the leftovers go when Fred's here LASER PRINTER : two tired ta rite yur ma ENTER : notherner talk fer, "C'mon in y'all" KEYBOARD: ware ya hang yur truk keys MANUAL: truk without automatic geers ZIP DRIVE: goin fast in yur hotrod NEWSGROUP: wives gossippin DOMAIN: most importint as "he's domain boss" ALIAS: name ya use at a motel DIGITAL: those numbers that flip on your alarm clock 2. a questshun as "digital hur ta bring the beer" PACKET: wucha do to a suitcase before a trip ITALIC: furriner from Roam CLIPBOARD: place you keep yur ammo VERSION : wucha dislike as in "he has a version to broccoli " LOG ON :making a wood stove hotter LOG OFF : don't add no mo' wood MONITOR : keppin an eye on the woodstove DOWNLOAD : gettin the farwood off the truk MEGAHERTZ: when yer not keerful gettin the farwood FLOPPY DISK: wucha git from carrin too much farwood DISC OPERATING SYSTEM: wut the doc uses fur your floppy disc NETWORK : way to get bait for yur trout line INTERNET: wut the bait duz wen ya catch it WINDOW: place in a truk to hang your guns WINDOWS : wucha shut when its 30 below LAN : to borrow as in "Hey Bert, lan me yur truk" 2. the grass in fronta yur house SUPPORT: whut suspenders duz 2. to drink fancy wine slowly CRASH : yur truk hits a tree. 2. when you go to Junior's party uninvited RAID: wen the cops crash yur pot party FRAME: wen the cops bring ther own pot to the party DOT MATRIX: old Dan Matrix's wife E-MAIL: not a pansy APPLICATION: put salve on yur skin STATIONARY: not movin UNZIP: open yur pants JOYSTICK: wat you open yur pants fur JAVA: coffee 486 : one of them fancy furrin cars WORM : wacha put on a fish hook IBM: anser wen teechur calls yur name MAC : yur kids favorite food APPLE: needed for pan dowdy and pies APPLET: a small apple VECTOR: winner of the fite FILE: wut yur wife uses on her nails PASSWORD: " fore" used wen playin golf INTERACTIVE: run into the house

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