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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke

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To: larryjoe who wrote (37739)11/2/2007 11:11:41 PM
From: 99Dan  Read Replies (2) of 62578
 
It's must be in this list somewhere:

WGAT down again. It is just so unfair!
by: dinner_and_a_fine_whine 2/9/00 7:46 pm
Msg: 13456 of 22370 The market goes up and WGAT goes
down. The market goes down and WGAT goes down. Why does
this always happen to me? Why doesn't this go straight up? It is
not fair.Why all the buy ratings but no buying? Why no news? Wink
has news. Liberate has news. Why don't we ever get any news?
Somebody bought 25000 shares at 40 and change after the bell?
what do they know that i I don't know? Why don't I know anything?
What about all these shorts. What do they know that I don't know?
Why do there have to be so many shorts anyway? When will this
MM manipulating stop anyway? Why doesn't my research pay off.
It is so unfair. WGAT shareholders having a party but I haven't
been invited. Nobody invites me anywhere. Why didn't I listen to
uncle Joe and buy more Cisco? Why did I buy so much WGAT
anyway? My wife is going to kill me. She hates me anyway. Says I
complain too much. Good product but why can't we get PR ?
Nobody ever promotes my stocks! Why did I have to pick a day
when longs are so hostile to post my first informative post on this
board?. The market is just so unfair. WGAT and my life bite.

Oh man! My wife is going to kill me!
by: dinner_and_a_fine_whine 2/9/00 10:22 pm
Msg: 13477 of 22370 First I buy 4000 shares of WGAT based on
information provided by a poster who turns out to be a short. Then
I buy a computer for $1800 and now hypemaster tells us they are
practically giving them away. The people in Peru won't use WGAT
because they got free computers. They can all afford Liberate's
high cost because they have free computers. I can't afford squat
because I own WGAT and bought my computer. Why does this
always happen to me?

I sold! I Shorted! I Covered! Oh God!
by: dinner_and_a_fine_whine 2/10/00 8:45 pm
Msg: 13607 of 22370 Oh GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ! Why did I
watch that ticker anyway.? It went below 37 and I couldn't take it
anymore. I sold and shorted to recoup my losses. Then I had to
cover and rebuy my shares at 41. Now its at 40!Why did my trades
have to go through anyways? Where were the hackers when I
needed them? Why don't the hackers ever visit my on line broker?
My broker sucks! What is going on here? Why can't people make
up there mind on this stock? Doesn't anyone stick to their
convictions anymore? Why do we have to have uncertainty
anyway?WGAT is up 1 and 13/16 and I am down another $16000.
This stock sucks!And whats with these MM's shaking people out?
Oh Man !I am going to get shook out when I get home! Man I have
to hit $51 to break even.Now slow_blood says the stock will only
hit 50. God! why did I ever buy this stock back? There will be more
than slow bleeding when my wife catches up with me. Come
Midnight Tel will be talking about Candles Cups and handles. Man
the only cups handles and candles I will see will be coming at my
head. Why did I have to marry that tempermental woman anyway?
I'm tired of being the emotional rock in my family! I better promise
her a blockbuster tommorrow or I'm dead! Hal are you listening?
Oh he's not listening!Nobody ever listens to me!My life bites. This
millenium sucks!Maybe I should move to Peru where they have all
those free computers. Oh no! I can't go there thats where my wife
is from. Why does this always happen to me?

Oh NO! 8:20 and still no news!
by: dinner_and_a_fine_whine 2/11/00 8:23 am
Msg: 13633 of 22370 Oh man why did I promise my wife
blockbuster news today? This is going to hurt . We are going into
the toilet. I'm going to get a margin call. I came here looking for a
blockbuster.Instead all I ever get is my wife the ballbuster. Why
does this always happen to me?

Oh my God! My wife just called!
by: dinner_and_a_fine_whine 2/11/00 7:27 pm
Msg: 13714 of 22370 Someone tipped her that Hal is selling 6
million shares and she is coming straight home I tried to tell her
that it was a false alarm but she hung up. Oh god I know I should
run but I can hardly move! Why did I have to take all that valium
after reading the hypemaster's post? Man why do people keep
posting this stuff? Why don't people just post informative and
helpful facts like mine? I wanted to comment on today's action but I
will have to try later if I still can. She's coming down the hall now
and she's carrying that black candlestick. Oh man this is going to
hurt! Man this board bites! My life sucks! Oh God why does this
always happen to
meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Oh my god! I'm $12 from a margin call!
by: dinner_and_a_fine_whine 2/12/00 10:31 am
Msg: 13761 of 22371 Why oh why doesn't this stock go up?
STRM was up,OPTV was way up.Wink was up.Even Lbrt
squeezed out a gain. But we just went down. We always go down.
This is just so unfair. My broker says don't worry this is just profit
taking.I didn't take any profits. Did you take profits? I never get
profits. All I ever get is screwed. What a bunch of crap!This stock
sucks!Conner 75 says its a dog.Partga made reference to "this
puppy". Oh great I own another dog!Dogs suck! My wife had a
dog. He hated me . We had to take him to a vet to have him put
out of his suffering.The vet offered my wife a 2 for 1 deal on me
and the dog. What was that all about? Damn dog died of natural
causes by the time I talked my wife out of it.I hate dogs. Vets suck!
My broker says don't worry this stock is not a dog. Just shorts and
MM's screwing with the stock.This stock has leading technology
he says. Nothing can go wrong. It's smooth sailing from here. Oh
man isn't that what they said about the Titanic? Oh my God I'm on
a fricken dogship to ####!My broker says don't worry short
squeeze coming. Too many shorts. Oh man why does there have
to be so many shorts? Why do they all have to be so mean? Why
do they always drive my stocks down? What did I ever do to
them?My broker says they will get theirs. They got theirs alright.
They got their profits. Short squeeze coming! What a bunch of
crap! The only shorts squeeze I ever get is when my wife makes
me wear those darn bikkini briefs.Bikkini briefs suck. I hate shorts!
I bet my wife is a short.I think my wife shorts this stock everyday
just so she can whoop my ass when I get home. ! And who are
these MM's people screwing with my stock? Who do these people
think they are? What are they? Has anyone ever seen them? What
does M&M stand for?I close my eyes at night and all I can see are
these these people dressed in colorful candy coated outfits
chuckling while they are screwing with my money and my mind. I
hate M and M'S. Melts in your mouth not in your hand! What kind of
scam was that? MM's, shorts, my broker and this stock suck. I'm
$12 dollars from a margin call and Monday is comming. Margin
sucks. Why did I ever buy on margin anyways? Margin what a
scam! Where are we going from here? I'll tell you where we are
going. Straight down! My stocks always go down. I hate investing!
Investing Sucks! Why does this always happen to me?

What kind of scam is this?
by: dinner_and_a_fine_whine 2/13/00 9:13 pm
Msg: 13826 of 22371 Oh this is just great!They just posted
interest in my margin account and triggered a margin call. Margin
interest what is that all about? I don't remember my broker
mentioning margin interest. Margin interest? Oh that is so unfair!
"Buy more WGAT" my broker says. "I ain't got no money" I tell him.
He says what about margin? I say "I hear its risky." "Only for
losers" he tells me,"not for astute positive thinkers like yourself.
Remember" he says "I'm your friend I only have your best interests
at heart.If you do well I do well. Easy money he says." I ask
"shouldn't I diversify?" He says he'll let me in on a little secret." S G
Cowan is about to initiate coverage on WGAT with a strong buy.
After that nothing but splits coming." Oh wasn't that just a peachy
keen tip now. S G Cowan upgrades Wgat and it drops $5 dollars
a share. S G Cowan upgrades WGAT and downgrades my
financial condition to life support with one swoop! S G Cowans
sucks!Well I tracked my broker down by phone yesterday. He's
down in the Caribbean . I guess he's down there with my easy
money looking out for my best interests. Full service brokers what
are they all about? Weren't there enough used car lots to go
around? My broker sucks ! He costs me money twice once when
he gives me advice and once when I take it. Oh yeah. I almost
forgot he is my friend.I asked him once "If you are my friend why
don't you give me some free advice?". So he did! He told me to
marry the woman who is now my wife. What a #######! I hate my
broker! Margin interest,SG Cowans,WGAT,free money and my
broker suck! Well my broker says I'm overeacting "Splits are
coming!" Splits what a scam! "Here I"ll take your 10 and give you
two fives. Keep the change!" What the #### is that all about? This
is going to make me rich? No matter! WGAT will never split as
long as I own it. My stocks never split. Splits comming? What a
bunch of crap!I have news for my broker. The splits are here.
WGAT and my broker have split the value of my account in half
and my wife is going to split my lip when she gets wind of this
margin call. I hate splits! Splits suck! Well I have three days to
cover my margin call. I hope my stocks go up tommorow. Oh they
won't go up.My stocks never go up. That is not until the day after I
sell them. I wish I had cash. I never have cash. Why did I put all my
cash into my Y2K generator bussiness? Y2K what a scam that
was!Y2k,margin calls and my life suck! Why does this always
happen to me?
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