Closing on 8 years sweet princess, I can't believe how fast the time goes by. Here's one of the last jokes you posted.
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be
gentle; I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How
can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling
me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure
how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and
get back to me.
Husband #3 was from Field Services; he said everything checked
out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the
order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an Engineer; he understood the basic process
but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new
state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from Finance and Administration; he thought he
knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in Marketing; although he had a nice product,
he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychiatrist; all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was...God,
I miss him!
...But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the lawyer, "but, why?"
"Duh; you're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!" |
