Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke Message Board

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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke

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To: Cameron Lang who wrote (3566)	10/19/1997 9:05:00 PM
From: emidio	of 62566

Understanding research, terms used by scientists and what they mean: IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN = I didn't look up the original reference. IT IS BELIEVED THAT = I think. IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT = A couple of my friends think so, too. OF GREAT THEORETICAL AND PRACTICAL IMPORTANCE = Interesting to me. A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY = A totally useless topic selected by my committee. WHILE I HAVE NOT FOUND DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THESE QUESTIONS = The data made no sense but I'm publishing it anyway. IT MIGHT BE ARGUED THAT... = I can answer this objection so well that I now raise it. OF GREAT THEORETICAL AND PRACTICAL IMPORTANCE = Somewhat interesting to me. OF EXTREME PURITY, ULTRAPURE, ... = Composition unknown. THE W-C SYSTEM WAS CHOSEN AS ESPECIALLY SUITABLE TO SHOW THE PREDICTED BEHAVIOR = The fellow in the next lab had some already made up. ALTHOUGH SOME DETAIL HAS BEEN LOST IN THE REPRODUCTION, IT IS CLEAR FROM THE ORIGINAL MICROGRAPH = It is impossible to tell from the micrograph. PRESUMABLY AT LONGER TIMES = I didn't take the time to find out QUALITATIVELY CORRECT...CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE = Wrong. THREE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY = The results of the others didn't make any sense. TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN IN FIG.2. = The best results are shown in fig.2. A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA = Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of beer. SUBJECTED TO CONTROLLED STRESS DURING THE EXPERIMENT = Accidentally dropped on the floor. HANDLED WITH EXTREME CARE DURING THE EXPERIMENT = Not dropped on the floor. THE MOST RELIABLE RESULTS ARE THOSE OBTAINED BY JONES = Jones is a friend of mine. A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT = This data is practically meaningless. A STATISTICALLY ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE FINDINGS = Wild guess. THESE RESULTS WILL BE SHOWN IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT = I might get around to this sometime if I'm pushed. IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THE PHENOMENON OCCURS = I don't understand it. IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER INVESTIGATION IN THIS FIELD = This is a lousy paper, but so are all the others on this miserable topic. I WOULD BE REMISS NOT TO THANK THEODORE BUMSTEAD FOR ASSISTANCE WITH THE EXPERIMENTAL ASPECTS OF THIS INVESTIGATION, AND DR. BARBARA KNOWLES FOR HELPFUL COMMENTS DURING THE ANALYTICAL PHASE = Ted did all the work, and Barb explained it to me.

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