Here is a sampling of
Reagan's one-liners and anecdotes
excerpted from a new book, Ronald
Reagan: How an Ordinary Man Became an
Extraordinary Leader.
* His definition of federal economic policy
If it moves, tax it. If it keeps
moving, regulate it. And if it stops
moving, subsidize it.
* On Lyndon Johnson's Great Society
We declared war on poverty, and poverty won.
* On big government
A government bureau is the nearest
thing to eternal life we'll ever see
on this earth.
It is an alimentary canal with an
appetite at one end and no sense of
responsibility at the other.
* On learning that government warehouses
currently had 478 million pounds of
surplus butter
Four hundred and seventy-eight million
pounds of butter! Does anyone know
where we can find 478 million pounds
of popcorn?
* On socialism
A man goes up to a grocery store clerk
in Moscow and asks for a kilogram of
beef, half a kilogram of butter and a
quarter kilogram of coffee. "We're all
out," the clerk says, and the man
leaves.
Another man, observing this incident,
says to the clerk, "That old man must
be crazy." The clerk replies, "Yeah,
but what a memory!"
* Reagan told this one to Mikhail Gorbachev
An American and a Russian were
arguing. The American said, "Look, I
can go into the Oval Office, pound the
President's desk and say: Mr.
President, I don't like the way you're
running our country."
And the Russian responded, "I can do
that." The American said, "You can?"
The Russian replied, "Sure. I can go
into the Kremlin, into the General
Secretary's office, and say: Mr.
General Secretary, I don't like the
way that President Reagan is running
his country."
(Apparently Gorbachev was greatly amused.)
* Reagan enjoyed telling this Winston Churchill story
Churchill stops by a men's room where
he encounters Labourite Clement
Attlee, the man who replaced him as
Prime Minister after WWII.
When Attlee took the next urinal,
Churchill moved a few places away.
"My, my, Winston," Attlee said. "Are
we being modest?"
Churchill replied: "Not at all,
Clement. It's just that whenever you
Labourite chaps see something that is
large, privately owned and working
well, you want to nationalize it."
* On sexually explicit scenes in modern movies
I have always thought it was more
suggestive to see a hand reach out and
hang the Do Not Disturb sign on the door.
* On choosing a new member for the
Council of Economic Advisers
I've got several millionaires in my
Cabinet who have made their own money.
Why do I need a bunch of economists?
* On the shrewdness of the common man
A lawyer and a farmer have a head-on
collision on a country road. No one is
badly hurt, but both men are shaken.
Farmer goes to his car and brings out
a flask and offers it to the lawyer.
"You look like you need a drink."
Lawyer takes a swig and then, at the
farmer's urging, another.
He hands the flask to the farmer.
"Your turn." Farmer: "No thanks. I'm
waiting for the sheriff."
* On human nature
Two campers were hiking in the woods
when they spotted a grizzly bear
headed straight for them. One of them
reached into his backpack and began to
put on his running shoes.
"What are you doing," his friend said. [
"You can't possibly outrun a grizzly."
The other fellow said, "I don't have
to outrun the grizzly. I just have to
outrun you." |
