Best read with an Irish accent
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Brenda O'Malley is home as usual, making dinner, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. Brenda, may I come in? he asks. I've somethin' to tell ya.
Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's me husband, Seamus?
That's what I'm here to be tellin' ya, Brenda. There was an accident
down at the Guiness brewery...
Oh, God no! cries Brenda. Please don't tell me...
I must, Brenda. Seamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry.
Brenda reached a hand out to her side, found the arm of the rocking
chair by the fireplace, pulled the chair to her and collapsed into it.
She wept for many minutes.
Finally she looked up at Tim: Tell me, how did it happen, Tim?
T'was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guiness Stout and
drowned.
Oh dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go
quickly?
Well, no Brenda. I'm sorry to say, it wasn't quick at all.
Oh, dear God, me poor Seamus!
Fact is, he got out three times to pee.
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