Little Old Lady at the Bank
A little old lady entered the main branch of the Chase Manhattan bank
with a large grocery bag in her arms. She told the teller that she
wanted to open an account to make a substantial deposit, in excess of
$200,000. Further, she said that since such a large sum was involved,
she would deal only with the president of the bank to make the necessary
arrangements. The teller looked in the bag and confirmed that it was, in
fact, full of cash. He called upstairs and explained the situation to
the bank president, who agreed to see the woman. The teller escorted her
to the president's office, and the president invited her to have a seat,
which she accepted. She repeated her request to open an account. The
president said he would take care of it personally, but his curiosity
was killing him. He said, "Mind if I ask how you happened to come into
such a large sum of cash?" "Not at all," was her reply. "I bet." "You
bet?" he countered. "At the racetrack, or on professional sports, or in
casinos?" "Nothing like that,"she said. "I just ... bet. For example,
I'll bet you $50,000 that by tomorrow morning your balls will be
square." The president chuckled but, seeing that the lady had the funds
to back up such a wild bet, agreed. They shook hands on it, and she
promised to return at nine the next morning to follow up, and left.
As the day wore on, the president found himself frequently checking to
make sure that all was in order. It was, but just as a precaution he
canceled his regular Tuesday-afternoon golf match and went home early.
The next morning when he showered, he was actually quite relieved to
find that nothing had changed drastically while he slept. He confidently
headed for the bank, laughing all the way at the unexpected windfall
that was about to become his.
The little old lady showed up promptly at the appointed hour,
accompanied by a young man. When the president asked who he was, she
replied that he was her lawyer, who she always brought along when
payoffs involving significant sums were involved. The president told her
that sorry, she had lost that particular bet, so the funds would be
outgoing rather than incoming. She insisted on examining the evidence
for herself, considering the amount at stake. He deemed it a reasonable
request under the circumstances, so he stood up, unbuckled his beltand
dropped his pants. She proceeded to closely inspect his jewels for any
abnormalities. As she did, the president noticed that her lawyer was
standing in the corner, banging his head against the wall. He asked the
lady, "What's the matter with him?" She paused her inspection long
enough to glance at the lawyer and replied, "Oh, him. I bet him $150,000
that before ten a.m. today I'd have the president of the Chase Manhattan
Bank by the balls." |
