President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approach him. "What is it?" exclaims the President. "Its this Abortion Bill Mr. President, what do you want to do about it?" the aide replies. "Just go ahead and pay it." responds the President.
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Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season. The umpire talks up to the VIP section and says something. Suddenly Clinton grabs Hillary by the collar and throws her over the wall onto the field. The stunned umpired shouts, "No, Mr. President! I said, 'Throw out the first PITCH!'"
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Q. Bill and Hillary are on a sinking boat. Who gets saved?
A. The nation.
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Q. What does Bill say to Hillary after having sex?
A: "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."
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Clinton is looking out of the window and he notices that someone has spelled out the message, "BILL SUCKS!" in urine in the snow on the White House Lawn. Furious, he orders the FBI to take urine and handwriting samples from every member of the White House staff and find the culprit immediately. A week later, the FBI director calls.
"Mr. President, I have good news and bad news," he says. "The good news is that the urine belongs to Vice President Gore." "And the bad news?" Clinton demands. "Well, sir, the handwriting belongs to Hillary!"
(This one's been through a lot of Presidents, hasn't it?)
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Clinton returns from a vacation in Arkansas and walks down the steps of Air Force One with two pigs under his arms. At the bottom of the steps, he says to the honor guardsman, "These are genuine Arkansas Razor-Back Hogs. I got this one for Chelsea and this one for Hillary." The guardsman replies, "Nice trade, Sir."
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