2010 DARWIN AWARDS
You've been waiting for them with bated breath, so without
further ado, here are the 2010 Darwin Awards:
Eighth Place
In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet
of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide
sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.
Seventh Place
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when
he ran", accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his
daily run.
Sixth Place
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for
protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair
at the bottom, when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of
sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying
to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers
using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was
pronounced dead at a hospital.
Fifth Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling
of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when
the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands
free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
Fourth Place
Sylvester Briddell Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with
friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four
bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
Third Place
After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the
front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on
robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a
uniformed officer was standing at the counter.
Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up
and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol.
The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several
customers also drew their guns and fired.The robber was
pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene
investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop.
The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds.
Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one
else was hurt.
HONORABLE MENTION
Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving
around at 2 A.M. So they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss
out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed
to notice that the window was closed.
RUNNER UP
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of
them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local
bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more
excited, and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the
bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge,
they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham,
who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a
coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. They secured one end around
Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall
lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off
at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy
water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot
was never located.
AND THE WINNER IS....
Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn , Germany ) fed his
constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a
bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up
pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated
Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an
olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer
force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr.
Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as
the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of
him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that
proves... 'Shit happens' |
