NOTES FROM THE EDGE OF LIFE
Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns
Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood
pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy
fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Logic
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic
Dear America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada
Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..."
Just saying...
Sincerely,
Google
Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF
happened?!
Sincerely,
1985
Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all
dead.
Sincerely,
BP
Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely,
Black people
Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin
Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies
Dear Ugly People,
You're welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol
Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there
because someone invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans
Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans
Dear iPhone,
Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words.
You piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User
Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up...
Sincerely,
The Girls of JerseyShore
Dear Man,
It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant
--
The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism,
but under the name of liberalism, they will adopt every fragment
of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist
nation without ever knowing how it happened?.
Ronald Regan |
