| | | Crowded elevators smell different to midgets...
I'm sure you just wanted to toss that one out there...
I try to be gentle with their feelings.
I never say "hi" to them.
They hate to be be-littled.
They're nice -
they don't look down on people.
Women like them -
because they under-stand.
The other day, the midget John asked me for a dollar.
I told John I couldn't - I'm a little short.
John looked at me funny, but I knew all he could see was my nose hairs.
Anyway - poor guy - John was short changed.
John couldn't get hired as a chef -
they told him that the steaks were too high for him.
John couldn't get hired as programmer -
The computer would always short circuit on him.
John tried working as an accountant
he never got a raise
and he kept coming up short.
John gave up and tried robbing a gas station
but he couldn't reach the counter...
John was arrested and went to prison - but he escaped!
John told his fellow cons what he was going to do -
they didn't go with him because
he only gave short notice.
People outside were even watching John escape -
but he didn't endear much sympathy.
People thought he was a little con descending.
John went to the city but someone tried to pick pocket him -
how could anyone stoop so low?
John got so depressed, he started to smoke weed.
But he could never get high.
John got so down that he tried to kill himself by jumping off the curb.
Okay that didn't work, so John went to see the doctor.
But he had to wait a long time.
When John complained, they told him that he has to be a little patient.
That made him a little mad.
The doctor finally saw him and started talking to him.
The doctor's name is Neal.
(cymbals)
(pause)
Dr. Neal told John that he was too fat -
his diet needs to be lower fat.
John told the doctor he wanted to change his sex.
The doctor advised against it -
John would probably get short changed (pause) in the process.
Going home, John got rear ended in his car.
They got out the car to exchange insurance, but he had had it.
John told the other guy that he was not happy.
The other guy asked, "then which dwarf are you?"
That really made John mad.
He told the guy, "let's fight - nano a nano!"
So with the car totaled, now he has to ride a bus.
Once, a blonde almost stepped on him.
John yelled at her - "hey brunette, watch where you're going!"
The blonde looked down and said,"I'm blonde, not brunette, dummy!"
John said, "not from where I'm standing!"
John got off the bus and walked into a mini-bar.
The end.
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