>actual bumperstickers found on actual cars:
>
>Horn broken. Watch for finger.
>Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
>All generalizations are false.
>Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
>I brake for no apparent reason.
>Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
>I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
>Forget about World Peace...Visualize using your turn signal.
>We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
>He who laughs last thinks slowest.
>Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
>It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
>Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
>Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
>Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
>I love cats...they taste just like chicken.
>Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
>Forget the Joneses, I keep us up with the Simpsons.
>Born free...Taxed to death.
>The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
>Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
>Rehab is for quitters.
>I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
>Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep.
>All men are idiots, and I married their King.
>Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
>Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
>Montana - At least our cows are sane!
>I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
>Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
>If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
>When you do a good deed, get a receipt-in case heaven is like the IRS..
>Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
>No radio - Already stolen.
>Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
>Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.
>I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
>Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
>OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
>Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
>I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
>Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
>Tell me to 'stuff it' - I'm a taxidermist.
>IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
>Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students.
>It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
>According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
>Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
>Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
>A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
>Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?
>How can I miss you if you won't go away?
>Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
>Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
>We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
>Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
>Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
>Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
>Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
>Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be
>happy.
>Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
>i souport publik edekashun.
>Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
>Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
>There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
>Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
>Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
>Keep honking...I'm reloading.
>Caution: I drive like you do.
> |
