Here are some jokes.... I hope they're new, but for all I know they might have come from this very site!
> Men are like vacations:
> They never seem to be long enough
>
> Men are like computers:
> Hard to figure out and never have enough memory >
> Men are like coolers:
> Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere >
> Men are like chocolate bars:
> Sweet, smooth, and they usually head straight for your hips >
> Men are like coffee:
> The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long >
> Men are like horoscopes:
> They always tell you what to do and they are usually wrong >
> Men are like plungers:
> They spend most of their time in a hardware store or the bathroom >
> Men are like cement:
> After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard >
> Men are like snowstorms:
> You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it will > > last
>
> Men are like parking spots:
> The good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped >
> Why is it hard for women to find men who are sensitive, > caring and good looking?
> Because those men already have boyfriends
A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren, and last night I had an affair. I made love to two 18 year old girls. Both of them.
Twice."
The priest said: "Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?"
"Never Father. I don't belong to your church."
"So then, why are you telling me?"
"You kidding? I'm telling everybody!"
A father and his son were grocery shopping when they came across a great display of condoms.
The son asks his father, "Dad, what's the three pack for?"
His father replies, "That's for when you're in high school: two for Friday night - one for Saturday night."
The son asks, "What's the six pack for, Daddy?"
Dad replies, "That's for when you're in college: two for Friday night two for Saturday night - two for Sunday morning."
Then the son asks, "What's the 12 pack for?"
"That's for when you're married... One for January, one for February, one for March................. |
