| | | Hear about the new deodorant for baseball players?
It's called "Umpire" and is good for foul balls.
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Why doesn't a blonde talk during sex?
Because her mother told her never to talk to strangers.
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Jack Warner was sort of a wise ass - on meeting Albert Einstein, he told him - "You know, I have a theory about relatives too - don't hire 'em."
At a luncheon for Madame Chiang Kai-shek, he scanned the faces of all the Asians at his table and commented - "Holy cow ! I forgot to pick up my laundry”.
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What do you get when you cross a killer whale and two Japanese ghosts?
Shabu Shabu
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Richard Nixon watched Deep Throat 5 times because he wanted to get it down pat.
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A man was going on his first trip to NYC and was worried about how he'd be treated, having read about the rudeness of New Yorkers. His neighbor, upon hearing of his concerns, told him the key was anticipation. "Just anticipate that you're going to treated rudely, and it won't bother you" he advised.
The soon-to-be-traveller thanked his neighbor and soon took off to go to NYC.
Upon taking the shuttle from the airport to city center, the guy went up to what looked liked a native New Yorker, tapped him on the shoulder, and asked, "Excuse me. Could you direct me to Rockefeller Center....or should I just go fuck myself?" |
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