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Pastimes : Jokes and Humor Only

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From: Tomato	12/19/2024 4:47:08 PM
	3 Recommendations of 6602

Wife: I wish we could have sex like we used to... Husband: Do you mean with other people? My wife hates it when I say "You are just like your mother!" Actually, she hates it when I say anything during sex. -- My wife remains very racist in her approach to laundry. -- My wife asked me today if I would ever cheat on her. I replied, "Who else would I cheat on?” -- My wife's idea of oral sex is to sit down and talk me out of it. -- Starting to think my wife might have a tumor. She's had a headache for the past 15 years. -- The last time there were sparks in my bedroom is when I was watching porn under the electric blanket. -- Apparently "mowing the lawn" means two completely different things to my wife and me. -- If my wife comes to bed nude it's ON, but when it's me at the end of the bed naked she's all "What are you doin, we're at Mattress City." -- My wife is a big tennis fan. She tells me how disgusting she finds the constant grunting during the women's matches. I promised her I'd try to stop. -- Nice that after 17 years of marriage I can still have a sex dream about my wife. Last night the role of my wife was played by Scarlett Johansson.

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