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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: Rich Dee who wrote (4756)2/26/1998 11:07:00 AM
From: Biggie Smalls  Read Replies (2) of 62549
 
These are actual lines out of OER (Officer Efficiency Reports ) -- performance appraisal for the military

- Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
- Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
- A room temperature IQ.
- Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
- A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
- A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
- A prime candidate for natural deselection.
- Bright as Alaska in December.
- One-celled organisms out score him in IQ tests.
- Donated his body to science before he was done using it.
- Fell out of the family tree.
- Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
- Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
- He's so dense, light bends around him.
- If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
- If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
- If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
- If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
- It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
- One neuron short of a synapse.
- Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
- Takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
- Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.
- Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
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