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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: Jacques Chitte who wrote (4776)2/27/1998 12:57:00 AM
From: bob  Read Replies (1) of 62549
 
Here are 2 new elements for the periodic chart of elements:

Element: WOMEN

Symbol: XX

Atomic Weight: 120 (more or less, usually more)

Physical Properties: Boils at nothing and may freeze anytime. Melts
whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.

Chemical Properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possess strong
affinity to gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when
left
alone.

Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when
placed next to a better specimen. Ages rapidly.

Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of
wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.

Element: MAN

Symbol: XY

Atomic Weight: 180+/-100

Physical Properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of
shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a
pure
sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as
easily as young, fresh samples.

Chemical Properties: Attempts to bond with XX any chance it can get.
Also, tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when
mixed
with Kd (element Kid) for prolonged periods of time. Pretty basic.
Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.

Usage: None really, except methane production. Good samples are able
to produce large quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of XX, this element rapidly decomposes and
begins to smell.
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