Here are truly stupid individuals
Seattle.....
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a
Seattle
street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the
scene
to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A
police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and
plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner
of
the vehicle declined to press charges. saying it was the best laugh he'd
ever had.
A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was a car
phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone and told the
guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to
buy
the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.
45 year old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas after a mechanic
reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in the engine
compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil
change. According to police, Brasher later said that she didn't realize
that
the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil.
David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence, R.I., after
allegedly
knocking out an armored car driver and stealing the closest four bags of
money. It turned out they contained $800 in PENNIES, weighed 30 pounds
each,
and slowed him to a stagger during his getaway so that police officers
easily
jumped him from behind.
Drug possession defendant Christopher Jansen, on trial in March in Pontiac,
Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said
the officer didn't need a warrant because a "bulge" in Christopher's jacket
could have been a gun. Nonsense, said Christopher, who happened to be
wearing
the same jacket that day in court. He handed it over so the judge could
see
it. The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and
laughed so hard he required a five minute recess to compose himself.
Clever drug traffickers used a propane tanker truck entering El Paso from
Mexico. They rigged it so propane gas would be released from all of its
valves while the truck concealed 6,240 pounds of marijuana. They were
clever,
but not bright. They misspelled the name of the gas company on the side of
the truck.
Oklahoma City....
Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store in
a
district court this week when he fired his lawyer. Assistant district
attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of defending
himself until the store manager testified that Newton was the robber.
Newton
jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, "I should've blown
your
[expletive] head off." The defendant paused, then quickly added, "-if I'd
been
the one that was there." The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and
recommended a 30 year sentence.
R.C. Gaitlin, 21, walked up to tow patrol officers who were showing their
squad car computer equipment to children in a Detroit neighborhood. When
he
asked how the system worked, the officers asked him for a piece of
identification. Gaitlin gave them his driver's license, they entered it
into
the computer, and moments later they arrested Gaitlin because information
on
the screen showed Gaitlin was wanted for a two year old armed robbery in
St.
Louis, Missouri.
A true story out of San Francisco: It seems a man, wanting to rob a
downtown
Bank of America, walked into the bank and wrote "This iz a stikkup. Put
all
your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note
to
the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and
might call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the
Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo. after
waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo
teller.
She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he was not the
brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stick
up
note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he
would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank
of
America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "Ok" and left. The
Wells Fargo teller then called the police who arrested the man a few
minutes
later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. |
