3 Jokes
St. Peter meets Mother Theresa at the Gates Of Heaven and says, "You were a good woman. I'm giving you a nice halo."
Mother Theresa is walking around Heaven when she sees Princess Di, and the Princess has a much bigger halo.
Mother Theresa goes back to St. Peter and says, "St. Peter, I spent most of my adult life helping the poor and the sickly. Princess Di did no where near the amount of charitable work I did. Why does she have a bigger halo?"
St. Peter says, "That's not a halo. That's a steering wheel."
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A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner. He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh, and said:
"Mom, I have something to tell you - I'm gay."
His mother made no reply or gave any response, and the guy was about to repeat it to make sure she'd heard him, when she turned away from the pot she was stirring and said calmly:
"You're gay - doesn't that mean you put other men's 'dicks' in your mouth?"
The guy said nervously, "Uh.... yeah Mom.... that's right."
His mother went back to stirring the pot, then suddenly whirled around and WHACKED him really hard over the head with her spoon and shouted -
"Don't you EVER complain about my cooking again !!"
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If you are considering doing some camping this Spring and Summer, please note the following public service announcement:
In Alaska, tourists are warned to wear tiny bells on their clothing when hiking in bear country.
The bells warn away MOST bears (grizzly, black, etc.) but be careful because they don't scare Kodiak/brown bears.
Tourists are cautioned to watch the ground on the trail, paying particular attention to bear droppings to be alert for the presence of Kodiak/brown bears.
One can easily spot a Kodiak/brown bear's droppings. Those are the droppings that contain those tiny bells. |
