A drunk was staggering down the main street of town. Somehow, he managed to make it up the stairs to the cathedral and into the building, where he crashed from pew to pew. He finally made his way to a side aisle and into a confessional.
A priest had been observing the man's sorry progress. Figuring the fellow was in need of some assistance, he proceeded to enter his side of the confessional. His attention was rewarded only by a lengthy silence.
Finally he asked, "May I help you, my son?"
"I dunno." came the drunk's voice from behind the partition. "You got any toilet paper on your side?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man walks into a drugstore, goes over the the pharmacist, and says, "Give me some condoms with insecticide". The pharmacist says, "Don't you mean spermicide?" The man says, "No, I mean
insecticide."
The pharmacist then asked, "Why insecticide?"
The man replied, "Well, my wife's gotten a bug up her ass, and I'm going in after it!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman comes home after going to the doctor and says to her husband, "I'm delighted with the doctor's physical,dear. He said I have the breasts of a woman half my age".
"Yeah, but what did he say about your forty-year-old ass"?
She replied, "Come to think of it, he didn't even mention your name". |
