a profile found on the 'net, I thought it hilarious, name omitted out of respect....
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Full name: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Nicknames: Baldy, F***face, Dances With Wolves, Adonis
D.O.B: 12/04/69
Location: xxxxxxxxxx,NJ
Parents: John and Rosanne
Siblings: Brian, Andrew
Girl/boyfriend/mate/husband/wife: I got me some bitches
Pets and their names: Jimmy
Jobs: Copywriter, Fluffer, Haberdasher, Circus freak
Hobbies: erotic fiction, sleeping, made-for-tv movies, jai alai, clowning
Things I collect: panties, stamps, bodies of my victims, fat grams
Important lesson you learned: "last one out is a rotten egg"
Words and phrases you overuse: Hey now!, If you will, How much?, no I'm not gay, can I touch you there?, dear God please get me out of this one...Amen,
Non-sport you excel in: getting beat up
Dream car: Hearse
Biggest Fear: Going to school naked.
Coolest experience of my life: My first kiss
Scariest experience of my life: having the lights suddenly flick on after my first kiss and finding myself surrounded by a bunch of laughing faces
Scariest thing you've ever done: masturbating for $20 dollars at a truck stop
Fave thing to do in spring: roam the countryside naked like an innocent schoolboy
Winter: construct phalluses oout of snow in other people's front lawns
Special skills or talent: retrieve my swimming trunks from the crashing waves
Most influential person: David Hasselhoff
Character traits you look for in a person: easy, blind, buxom, tight-assed
Pet peeves: orgies that exceed 25 participants
Future goals: to find a to support my desired lifestyle and maintain
happiness.
Fave music: The Cure, David Hasselhoff, et al
Songs you especially enjoy: My Heart Will Go On
Fave color: I wear black on the outside cos black is how I feel on the inside
Fave food: [classified] If that information gets out, all you ladies will try to weasel your way into my heart... yes, thru my stomach.
Least fave: cottage chees - whose idea was that?
Funniest person(s) i know: some of my friends on the clowning circuit are pretty funny
Fave subject: Art, Lit, Phlebotomy
Fave sport(s): Soccer, Co-ed Naked Bocce
Fave toy(s): French Tickler
Fave book: too many
Fave cartoon characters: Urkel (is he a cartoon yet?)
Fave movies: way too many to list
Fave music video: Just Like Heaven, Catch, Boys Don't Cry, Inbetween Days, The Caterpillar by the Cure; Regret by New Order
Fave number: 22
Fave tv show: X Files, The Bob Saget Show
Fave month: October
Fave holiday: Christmas
Fave part of news paper: the personal ads
Fave toothpaste: Colgate
Fave thing to wear: a paper bag over my head
What color are your socks: I wear black on the outside...
What position do you sleep in: missionary style or doggy style... yes, I sleep in those positions
Favorite Drink: iced tea, cola, Guinness, the tears of the loveless |
