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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: Wick who wrote (5286)4/15/1998 1:39:00 PM
From: bob  Read Replies (1) of 62549
 
A shipwreck in the South Pacific has only three survivors
who wash ashore on an island inhabited by cannibals.

One is Frenchman. One is an Englishman. One is a New Yorker.

They are quickly captured by the natives and brought to the
village where the tribal elders announce that the foreigners
will be eaten for dinner and their skins will be used to build
a new canoe for the warriors.

As the Frenchman is dragged away kicking and screaming, he
yells, "Viva La France!"

As the Englishman is dragged away scratching and clawing, he
screams, "God Save The Queen!"

As the New Yorker is dragged away, he pulls out a switchblade
and stabs himself repeatedly... shouting, "Fuck Your Canoe!"
********************************************************************

A New Yorker was forced to take a day off from work to appear
for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he
waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard.

When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the
judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the rest of
the afternoon and he would have to return the next day.

"What for?!?!?" he snapped at the judge.

His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query,
roared out loud: "Twenty dollars contempt of court! That's why!"

Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented:
"That's all right. You don't have to pay now."

The young man replied,
"I know. But I'm just seeing if I have enough for two more words."
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