Little Johnny wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents room. Finally one morning he goes to his room to him Mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and Daddy making noises, and when I look in your bedroom you're bouncing up and down on him." His Mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh...well....ah....well I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again."
And the boy thought for a moment and said, "Nahhh, that won't work!"
His Mom says, "Why?!?"
And the boy replied, "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day, and blows him back up!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist asked, "Yes sir, may we help you?"
"There's something wrong with my dick," he replied.
The receptionist became aggravated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you." he said.
"We do not use language like that here," she said. "Please go outside and come back in and say that there's something wrong with your 'ear' or whatever."
The man walked out, waited several minutes and reentered.
The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"
"There's something wrong with my 'ear'," he stated.
The receptionist nodded approvingly. "And what is wrong with your ear, sir?"
"I can't piss out of it." the man replied.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A farmer goes to confession for the first time in twenty years
and tells the priest he's been having sexual intercourse with a
pig ever since his wife died.
The priest asks him if he intends to continue doing it and
whether the pig is a male or female.
"No! I'm not doing it anymore!" says the farmer. "And the pig is
a female, of course. What the hell do you think I am -- a
goddam queer?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A day at the races. Horses in the race are:
1. Passionate Lady
6. Clean Sheets
2. Bare Belly
7. Thighs
3. Silk Panties
8. Big Johnson
4. Conscience
9. Heavy Bosum
5. Jockey Shorts
10. Merry Cherry
At the Post:
They're off! Conscience is left behind at the post. Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosum is being pressured. Passionate lady is caught between Thighs and Big Johnson in a very tight spot.
At the Halfway Mark:
It's Bare Belly on top. Thighs opens up and Big Johnson is pressed in. Heavy Bosum is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly. Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Johnson.
At The Stretch:
Merry Cherry cracks under the strain. Big Johnson is making a final drive. Passionate Lady is coming.
At The Finish:
Its Big Johnson giving everything he's got and Passionate Lady takes
everything Big Johnson has to offer. It looks like a dead heat but Big
Johnson squirts through and wins by a head. Heavy Bosum weakens and Thighs pullup. Clean Sheets never had a chance....... |
