An old guy goes to the doctor for his annual exam, and the doctor
returns with bad news.
The doctor says, "Well, I am sorry to inform you of this, but you
have cancer and you have Alzheirmer's. There is nothing we can do."
The man says, "It could be worse. At least I don't have cancer."
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When Jacques Cousteau was alive and on one of his deep sea
explorations, he discovered a rare tuna fish that lived at
great depths.
Upon further examination, it was discovered that the tuna's
vagina smelled exactly like a human finger!
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OK, here we go......
1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or no?
2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?
4. How many outs are there in an inning?
5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister?
6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add 10.
What do you get?
7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many apples
are you left with?
8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one
every half an hour. How long will the pills last?
9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many
sheep are left?
10. How many animals of each sex did Moses bring with him on the ark?
11. A butcher in the market is 5'-10" tall. What does he weigh?
12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen?
13. What was the President's name in 1960?
**** NO CHEATING ****
So how do you think you did? Here are the answers....
1. Yes. It comes right after the 3rd.
2. One (1). You can only be born once.
3. Twelve (12). All of them have at least 28 days.
4. Six (6). Don't forget there is a top and bottom to every inning.
5. No. He must be dead if it is his widow!
6. Seventy (70). 30 divided by 1/2 is 60.
7. Two (2). You take two apple...therefore, YOU have TWO apples.
8. One hour. If you take the first pill at 1:00,
the second at 1:30, and the third at 2:00,
the pills have run out and only an hour has passed.
9. Nine (9). Like I said, all BUT nine die.
10. None. I didn't know that Moses had an ark?
11. Meat...that is self-explanatory.
12. Twelve (12). How many eggs are in a dozen?
TWELVE...it's a dozen!
13. Bill Clinton. As far as I know, he hasn't changed his name.
So, how did you do?
13 correct....GENIUS....you are good!
10-12 correct....ABOVE AVERAGE....but don't let it go to your head
7-9 correct....AVERAGE....but who wants to be average?
4-6 correct....SLOW....pay attention to the question
1-3 correct....IDIOT....what else can I say
0 correct....CONGRATULATIONS, you are a certified MORON!!!!
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