I took some clients out to dinner last week, and I noticed a spoon in the
shirt pocket of our waiter as he handed us the menus. It seemed a little odd,
but I dismissed it as a random thing. Until our busboy came with water and
tableware; he, too, sported a spoon in his breast-pocket. I looked around the
room, and all the waiters, waitresses, and busboys had spoons in their
pockets.
When our waiter returned to take our order, I just had to ask, "Why the
spoons?"
"Well," he explained, "our parent company recently hired some Andersen
Consulting efficiency experts to review all our procedures, and after months
of statistical analyses, they concluded that our patrons drop spoons on the
floor 73% more often than any other utensil; at a frequency of 3 spoons per
hour per workstation. By preparing all our workers for this contingency in
advance, we can cut our trips to the kitchen down and save time...nearly 1.5
extra man hours per shift."
Just as he concluded, a "ch-ching" sounded - I had knocked my spoon off the
table as I picked up a menu. He quickly replaced a fallen spoon with the one
from his pocket.
"I'll grab another spoon the next time I'm in the kitchen instead of making
a special trip," he proudly explained.
I was impressed. "Thanks. I had to ask."
"No problem," he answered, then he took our orders.
After we finished our soup, he returned with our entrees. That's when I
spotted a thin, black thread protruding from our waiter's fly. Again, I
dismissed it; yet I had to scan the room and, sure enough, there were other
waiters and busboys with strings hanging out of their trousers.
My curiosity overrode discretion at this point, so before he could leave,
I had to ask. "Excuse me, but...uh...why, or what...about that string?"
"Oh, yeah" he began in a quieter tone. "Not many people are that observant.
That same efficiency group found we could save time in the Men's room, too."
"How's that?"
"You see, by tying a string to the end of our, eh, selves, we can pull it out
at the urinals literally hands-free and thereby eliminate the need to wash our
hands, cutting time spent in the restroom by over 93%!"
"Oh, that makes sense," I said, but then thinking through the process, I asked
"Hey, wait a minute--if the string helps you pull it out, how do you get it
back in?"
"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the other guys; but I use my spoon." |
