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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: Henry Volquardsen who wrote (5777)6/9/1998 10:02:00 AM
From: Henry Volquardsen  Read Replies (1) of 62549
 
THE BOARD OF HEALTH HAS PROPOSED THAT WARNING SIGNS
BE PLACED ON LIQUOR BOTTLES TO WARN DRINKERS ABOUT THE
HAZARDS OF OVER-INDULGENCE.

1. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing
like an asshole.

2. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay
shings like thish.

4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe
that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the
morning.

5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering
what the hell happened to your pants.

6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).

7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion
that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Chuck.

9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe
you're invisible.

10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think
people are laughing WITH you.
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